Monday, November 29, 2004

Passion for the Sport

Last Monday we, (my friend and I) played football in the National Games Village football ground in Koramangala, Bangalore. He had been asking me, where I went for playing. Though I went there only once, I suggested this ground to him. For once, in all those times we went to the game together, I was the star ! Yes. There were compliments from one guy, who recognized me from my last game, in spite of my ill-fitting mush that has grown in the interval. This guy said "Hey, guys, this guy is solid, I want him in my team" , and later to his team, "This guy can manage all the defense". I am happy to say that I did live up to their expectations by saving a penalty kick, which was entrusted to me with great trust by my team.

The best part of all this episode came as a late climax, the next morning, when I got a mail from my friend. It was nothing regarding my game, and it ran thus.

From : SO
To : RA
Subject :

hello thanks for yesterday's game
now i know why i was feeling low for last one-two months

Now, that's Soccer, that the game. That's how much we love it. Thats how much we love life itself.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Enjoy Anyway!


Hi All,

It’s exactly 52 weeks since I have left my job at tcs, in the pursuit of some dreams, though the term dreams is no longer relevant. No, there aren't any regrets, there weren't any ever. After all the choice has already been made, I just had to execute it!

After one year, its an inverse situation now, it was sampling two extremes of the spectrum, and hence here I am with a taste of the entire range. A lot of lessons have been learnt, like they should have been.

Firstly, its never good to sell everything you have to buy something you want, it makes a vary bad bargain.
Secondly, nothing is what is seems, because, as someone once said, "people evaluate things based on what they want them to be rather than what they actually are!" Like the shock most of us faced when we joined the much hyped IT industry after ruling the college.

Before you think that I have learnt only things that blunt one's attitude, here are the silver linings.

Its always good to count what you have and improve on it rather than keep counting what you have lost, how ever huge the loss may be. It does not mean that you hypnotize yourself into believing that everything is fine, after all you cannot cheat yourself. One cannot have everything, hence prioritize what you want, and how much you want it, though it may sound silly to others.

Secondly, there is always a middle path, between two extremes; it just needs an open mind and an outlook that is not prejudiced, to see it.

Most importantly, when you swim upstream, it makes you stronger, but you cannot keep doing it all the time, sometimes you would want to enjoy the rewards for your toil.

This was until I had to come to grips with the new world that was surrounding me. You guys read the "Gone with the wind", its an awesome book. The most complete book I have ever read, unlike most books that deal only with some aspects of life! Its centered around people coming to grips with a completely new world around them, how some things change and how some things do not, and on people realizing what they want in life after life has gone by!

Now, I kind of realized what all I want in life, ironically it was what I always wanted! Kind of "follow your heart" funda. But its good if you can formulate things. The most important change in me is that I have started to care about what others think, and have become a people pleaser, its no easy task after all! Secondly, enjoy the ride, more than the destination!

Life has become very good these days, and I have been having a great time for the last couple of months, lot of social life these days! Nothing palpable has changed though, my boss still thinks I am hedonistic and irresponsible but somehow important (my senior is astonished that I survived here for nine and a half months and managed to become important), my house still very unfurnished without a source of hot water and the traffic on Richmond road is only growing!

Somethings change, somethings do not, Enjoy anyway!


"A glamor to life, a perfection, a completeness and a symmetry to it like Grecian art"

Monday, November 08, 2004

Somethings change; somethings dont

I went to college last Monday. That is exactly one week ago. It was to pave way into another college. Serendipity smiled on me, in the form of two of my friends. One a colleague and junior and the other a classmate. The journey to, was very enjoyable, exchanging ideas and information.

The usual ecstacy in going to the "God's own country" was absent that day, may be because of the weight of the journey or was I overcoming my infatuation over the ordinary Mallu girl? or may be just because I was anxious of the success of my visit.

The first feeling after I woke up was a happiness owing to the escape from Bangalore. The thick vegetation passing by the window of the bus was a reminder of good old days and a reminder of my pursuit of such days in the future, both simultaneously. Yes, I am terribly sick of Bangalore's dust, traffic and smoke by now. The first feeling after stepping into that morning mist in the college was a complete remeberance of those good old days, the royalty in owning that place. I love my College, a proof that life can be good, at least in retrospect.

After my friend and I parted ways, I was walking alone on the road beside the hostels, it suddenly swept over me. An over-powering feeling of gloom and fear, the kind of thing you feel in a grave, an urge to run away. The fear of a something sweeping over me and taking me into that ground floor room in A Hostel or that top floor room in B Hostel, both facing the road. I think I know what it is, it was my own guilt! Yes, my longing to do it all over again, do justice to myself, to Him. It was my own feeling of guilt that was haunting me, my belief that none of us did any justice to that place so dear to us. Oh! I wanted to run, this lonliness was a torture. I reached one of my juniors' room. It was a solace.

As I moved around in the campus, it was a different feeling. The feeling that my college has been taken over by someone. It was all too calm, unlike the noisy city I was staying in. The cloudy day made it look even more gloomier. All those unknown faces in one of the most familiar places in this world. A typical case someone's world coming tumbling down around him. I wonder how I could wait there under a tree for my prof. Those lovely trees, I want that world back, oh, not in the form that it is in now.

The best part of the day, was that half-an-hour where I assure myself that there is beauty in this world. It was a hard earned half-an-hour, waiting outside her room for everyone else to make way. Needless to say, it was good. It was different this time. There was none of that childish infatuation, it was like good friends, even like a teacher and a student. She was the same person, whom I am always in search of.

A taste of the old days included, the breakfast in F-hostel mess, the uneatable lunch in the canteen (I wonder how I could stay alive eating it for four years), the talk with those teachers, the typical teasing of one another my juniors were involved in, the bus journey to the city with the cool wet wind flirting with your smile.

The journey back was not very sad, after all it was an escape from gloom.
As life moves on, somethings change, somethings do not.