Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Another drop of dew

I am scared of visitng my blog!

I was told a long time ago, that if one begins his speech with some striking words like the above, she will more often than not have a good speech(The use of 'she' was to be politically correct). I never quite believed in such tricks, striking them off as desperate attempts of someone trying to capture the attention of the respectable audience (after all they are listening to you on their time, when they could be doing something better), by blurting out some irrelavent but fancy stuff.

Now, coming back, why that theatrical opening then? Oh, I was just getting it out of my head, as soon as possible. Now, the question comes, why am I afraid of my blog. For one thing, it signifies a lot of things. It is an metric for the quality of life. The better blogs I write the better life I am having, these days, the quality of the blogs, if there are any at all, has dropped drastically.

It has turned out to be a load of meaningless bullshit like the stuff you are currently reading. Any reasons?

Unarguably, the biggest fuel to my beautiful blog, was my bike, those random drives in the beautiful city of Bangalore, on whose roads I travelled a happy 8000 kilometers in an year, now that is quite an amount for a guy who went to his office by bus, most of the times. I used to go on a lot of random dirves. Those were amazing.

A random drive can help you in many ways. I loved them for the simple reason that I love travelling, the sheer motion is so joyful, I mean the motion along a pure country road or even a city road laden with trees on a warm morning or in a quiet night. They make you think calmly, help you get in touch with yourself, give you that control over your life. They let you feel the beauty of it, let you live in the moment. Give you that sense of clam. Midn you I am not speaking of a daily commute.

Back to the present, I live in downtown Atlanta, with my school being a five minute walk from my house, I do not have enough money to go out and see places, the only times I get to travel are when I am visiting my relatives places and when we go on the weekly grocery shopping. The former is done in a stuffed local train, which leaves me dizzy after running in and out of tunnels for a while, with a dubious air flow mechanism. The latter gives me a headache due to the highway smoke.

So I no longer travel, no longer have a chance to step back from the wall and take a good look at the picture I am painting, the picture that is my life. Now what kind of artist does not look at the kind of piture he is painting? Is this the reason this country has so many cult movies like 'The Matrix', 'Fight Club' etc. where people question the hold they have on their own lives? I am far from sure and am not in a condition to think and resolve or argue.

Also, there has not been a comment on this blog in a long long time, I think it is time I made it public. Tried to do that once, but then backed off. It kind of feels lonely but then it remains more honest. So let me try to do it the Google way, grow the audience organically.

On the other hand, I am having an almost great life, (hoping to remove the 'almost' very soon). The rides in the college bus, where you get to see some of God's genius combined with an hour of labour before the mirror! The campus recreation centre, the geek professors, who look so happy with the subjects they teach, the subjects themselves that are so cool, and to say the least, so beautiful. The beauty of Mathematics deserves a complete post. Yup, I am born geek.

I can see beauty of Mathematics, like I can see the beauty of a helping nature, of the rain, of an open mind, of a football game, of a courageous soul, of a fluttering leaf, of a breeze flirting with your smile, of a culture that is thousand years old, of the flow of a feminine body, of a kid's innocence, of a grown up's helplessness, of a cookoo's song, of the play of the light with the gentle waves, of a stranger's smile, etc.

As long as you can see that beauty and as long as you can be in love with HER for surrounding you so elegantly, life will remain as beautiful as a droplet of dew on the edge of a coconut leaf.