Monday, November 29, 2004

Passion for the Sport

Last Monday we, (my friend and I) played football in the National Games Village football ground in Koramangala, Bangalore. He had been asking me, where I went for playing. Though I went there only once, I suggested this ground to him. For once, in all those times we went to the game together, I was the star ! Yes. There were compliments from one guy, who recognized me from my last game, in spite of my ill-fitting mush that has grown in the interval. This guy said "Hey, guys, this guy is solid, I want him in my team" , and later to his team, "This guy can manage all the defense". I am happy to say that I did live up to their expectations by saving a penalty kick, which was entrusted to me with great trust by my team.

The best part of all this episode came as a late climax, the next morning, when I got a mail from my friend. It was nothing regarding my game, and it ran thus.

From : SO
To : RA
Subject :

hello thanks for yesterday's game
now i know why i was feeling low for last one-two months

Now, that's Soccer, that the game. That's how much we love it. Thats how much we love life itself.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Enjoy Anyway!


Hi All,

It’s exactly 52 weeks since I have left my job at tcs, in the pursuit of some dreams, though the term dreams is no longer relevant. No, there aren't any regrets, there weren't any ever. After all the choice has already been made, I just had to execute it!

After one year, its an inverse situation now, it was sampling two extremes of the spectrum, and hence here I am with a taste of the entire range. A lot of lessons have been learnt, like they should have been.

Firstly, its never good to sell everything you have to buy something you want, it makes a vary bad bargain.
Secondly, nothing is what is seems, because, as someone once said, "people evaluate things based on what they want them to be rather than what they actually are!" Like the shock most of us faced when we joined the much hyped IT industry after ruling the college.

Before you think that I have learnt only things that blunt one's attitude, here are the silver linings.

Its always good to count what you have and improve on it rather than keep counting what you have lost, how ever huge the loss may be. It does not mean that you hypnotize yourself into believing that everything is fine, after all you cannot cheat yourself. One cannot have everything, hence prioritize what you want, and how much you want it, though it may sound silly to others.

Secondly, there is always a middle path, between two extremes; it just needs an open mind and an outlook that is not prejudiced, to see it.

Most importantly, when you swim upstream, it makes you stronger, but you cannot keep doing it all the time, sometimes you would want to enjoy the rewards for your toil.

This was until I had to come to grips with the new world that was surrounding me. You guys read the "Gone with the wind", its an awesome book. The most complete book I have ever read, unlike most books that deal only with some aspects of life! Its centered around people coming to grips with a completely new world around them, how some things change and how some things do not, and on people realizing what they want in life after life has gone by!

Now, I kind of realized what all I want in life, ironically it was what I always wanted! Kind of "follow your heart" funda. But its good if you can formulate things. The most important change in me is that I have started to care about what others think, and have become a people pleaser, its no easy task after all! Secondly, enjoy the ride, more than the destination!

Life has become very good these days, and I have been having a great time for the last couple of months, lot of social life these days! Nothing palpable has changed though, my boss still thinks I am hedonistic and irresponsible but somehow important (my senior is astonished that I survived here for nine and a half months and managed to become important), my house still very unfurnished without a source of hot water and the traffic on Richmond road is only growing!

Somethings change, somethings do not, Enjoy anyway!


"A glamor to life, a perfection, a completeness and a symmetry to it like Grecian art"

Monday, November 08, 2004

Somethings change; somethings dont

I went to college last Monday. That is exactly one week ago. It was to pave way into another college. Serendipity smiled on me, in the form of two of my friends. One a colleague and junior and the other a classmate. The journey to, was very enjoyable, exchanging ideas and information.

The usual ecstacy in going to the "God's own country" was absent that day, may be because of the weight of the journey or was I overcoming my infatuation over the ordinary Mallu girl? or may be just because I was anxious of the success of my visit.

The first feeling after I woke up was a happiness owing to the escape from Bangalore. The thick vegetation passing by the window of the bus was a reminder of good old days and a reminder of my pursuit of such days in the future, both simultaneously. Yes, I am terribly sick of Bangalore's dust, traffic and smoke by now. The first feeling after stepping into that morning mist in the college was a complete remeberance of those good old days, the royalty in owning that place. I love my College, a proof that life can be good, at least in retrospect.

After my friend and I parted ways, I was walking alone on the road beside the hostels, it suddenly swept over me. An over-powering feeling of gloom and fear, the kind of thing you feel in a grave, an urge to run away. The fear of a something sweeping over me and taking me into that ground floor room in A Hostel or that top floor room in B Hostel, both facing the road. I think I know what it is, it was my own guilt! Yes, my longing to do it all over again, do justice to myself, to Him. It was my own feeling of guilt that was haunting me, my belief that none of us did any justice to that place so dear to us. Oh! I wanted to run, this lonliness was a torture. I reached one of my juniors' room. It was a solace.

As I moved around in the campus, it was a different feeling. The feeling that my college has been taken over by someone. It was all too calm, unlike the noisy city I was staying in. The cloudy day made it look even more gloomier. All those unknown faces in one of the most familiar places in this world. A typical case someone's world coming tumbling down around him. I wonder how I could wait there under a tree for my prof. Those lovely trees, I want that world back, oh, not in the form that it is in now.

The best part of the day, was that half-an-hour where I assure myself that there is beauty in this world. It was a hard earned half-an-hour, waiting outside her room for everyone else to make way. Needless to say, it was good. It was different this time. There was none of that childish infatuation, it was like good friends, even like a teacher and a student. She was the same person, whom I am always in search of.

A taste of the old days included, the breakfast in F-hostel mess, the uneatable lunch in the canteen (I wonder how I could stay alive eating it for four years), the talk with those teachers, the typical teasing of one another my juniors were involved in, the bus journey to the city with the cool wet wind flirting with your smile.

The journey back was not very sad, after all it was an escape from gloom.
As life moves on, somethings change, somethings do not.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Frozen by Inspiration

It was almost a disappointment. I was not expecting to see ordinary looking people there; and beautiful looking people, not at all! At India's premier most institute, I expected people to have atleast a horn on their heads. But that was not the case.

Previous to last weekend, I went to the Indian Institute of Sciences, also called the Tata Institute, considered to be the most premier institute in India for scientific research.

The initial disappointment was finding normal looking people,and still worse beautiful looking women. Believe me, in the topIndian institutes, beauty and brains are strangers, here the best of the best was an exception. The fact that an exception (that could throw the rule in the trash) crossed my life two years ago, did not strike me that day. Partly because, it is almost one and a half year since I saw her regularly, in the days when IISc spelt her name for me; and mainly because the idea of visiting that place to take that vicarious pride was overwhelming.

It was great to rediscover lost love for Linear Alzebra, Tranform Theory and Stochatic Processes. After lunch, and before bidding good bye came the most important aspect of the vist - petrification. The main building is what is the public face of the institute, doubtlessly the icon of all that the institute stands for. We appraoched the main building from behind through thick vegetation, typcal to that of a jungle,thus bringing it into view slowly. This helped reduce the sudden shock. The touch of the stone was electrifying. It was as if a current was flowing into my body from the building through the finger tip. I could not resist the urge to touch the firststep leading into the building, closed on that day - the birthdayof the Father of the Nation.

We moved onto to sit on a bench straight infront of the building,which gave a full view of the building, a sudden realization dawned up on, the thought of the total intellectual capabilityof the people who walked in and out of that building, their service to the nation, their service to mankind. The amountof value they are generating, and the number of people who areindebted to them. The mission of the founders, their gratefulnessto their motherland, the success of the institute in serving itsintended goal. The thought was paralysing. It was inspiring.

I have not gone to temples so often after coming to Bangalore. Infact Bangalore is a very modern and restless city, which goesagainst the timelessness, strength and peace that any temple stands for. Now here, I am at one, standing in full glory, I need not visit another in a long time.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Yoga, The Ultimate Journey

I have strongly resolved that I am not going to be just another techie in this over techni-fied city of Bangalore! Yes, my office life is quiet demanding! I work for a Hi-tech Hi-slog company, where I fight a lonely and slowly losing battle against the hi-slog part of it. There is one good thing in all this, even though I slog, which I not so rarely do, its for an Indian company working for itself; where as most of my friends work for those American companies that outsource the not so glamorous part of their work to India, and we Indians give them more importance than necessary. Thats why I like the Japs, they do not care enough to learn to speak decent English.

Now, back to what I was saying, I have resolved to myself that I am not going to be one of those techies, for whom office is everything. Yes, I have decided that. In these recent days, my decision has started to translate into some actions. I have long back asked my uncle in the US to get me a tennis racquet which he very sincerely did, though I forgot my asking him to get it. Now there are no more excuses left, I have to start playing
tennis. In the meanwhile, I have joined yoga classes.
My Sanskrit dictionary has the following meanings for yoga.
yoga = effort.
yogam = self realisation
yogah = consciousness of the All-mighty

But I am not one of those foreigners, enchanted by the magic of yoga and hence interested in it. My interest comes from the fact that I am an Indian and a heir to the invaluable Indain asset of yoga. My own mother tongue, a south Indian language is the daughter of Sanskrit. I should confess that my mother tongue is a very immature language and hence depends heavily on her mother for all the vocabulary. Why am I narrating all that? Its to prove that I need not look into a dictionary for the meaning of a Sanskrit word. Hence the meaning of Yoga from my own dictionary is :
yogaM - meeting
yogaM - luxury
The endings a, aM or aH are only indicators of the parts of speech of a word.
Now let me explain, yoga is the that path that leads you to the meeting, the ultimate meeting, that is with God her/himself. It came to be used for luxury because, once you are in the path of yoga, you are embarking on the journey of spiritual bliss, which is acknowledged as the ultimate luxury. Hence any luxury is the result of the yogic tendencies a person has exhibited.

Hatha yoga, the aspect of yoga that is known in the western world, is a mere preparation of the human body for that journey. If the preparation is so ingenious, how would the actual journey be!
P.S : Here ends the blog of the part time philosopher in me . This blog was supposed to be posted a week ago, but got delayed. If you found this stuff too much on you, check out my next blog. Its also based on yoga. But a very lighter aspect of yoga. A complete humorous one. Life is beautiful when it is lived just like that without much thinking, isn't it?

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Big Bang

Hello Blogger,
This is my first blog, hence you may find it not very much in
line with the usual style of writing a blog.
My blog is named so because, my name means moon in sanskrit and my initials mean
sun in egyptian.
I guess, this is enough, more will come after I see some other blogs, and what people
write there.
- ra